Freedom Day !

     February 10th is a very special day in my life, (My husband lovingly dubbed this date Freedom Day). This year on February 10th I celebrated 26 years of living with my family.  I was adopted. This is something that I am very proud of, one of the special things in my life that have helped me to become the Christian, wife, and momma that I am today. 
     My start in life was a rough one to say the least. I was abused by my birth mom and her boyfriend(s). Since my birth mom was not close to her family, none of my relatives had anyway of knowing what was going on. My mom tells me that I was a happy child and no one really knew how much this little girl with a smile on her face was really hurting.  It wasn't until I was almost three and my birth mom was arrested that anyone knew what was going on.  I was placed in foster care and went to live with some people who I don't remember. The only thing I remember about them was that their kids weren't very nice to me.(This explains why I block a lot of things out and have a TERRIBLE memory!)   Fortunately I wasn't in their care for very long, about 3 months. On February 10th 1984 I came to live with my Uncle Mark, Aunt Tina and baby cousin Travis (who was only about 3 months old at the time). My poor mom, went from being a brand new first time mom, to having a 3 month old and a 3 year old! She said I was a good little girl, mostly from fear that someone would give me away again. This was my "forever home" and I am so blessed that this is where God chose for me to be.   
     I don't say all of this to get sympathy from anyone.  There are children who are in terrible situations much longer than I was. There are some who never make it out alive. I say this because there are so many people who let their past dictate their future in a negative way.  How many people have a rough start in life  or even a tragic circumstance later in life and never recover from it. They just continue in a life filled with bad decisions and missteps? Even more than that how many people blame the decisions they have made and continue to make because " I was abused". I would NEVER say "get over it", that is simply not something that you can do. You can heal and you can grow, but, I don't know that you ever get over it. It is always with you, a part of you, for better or worse. It is your choice to decide which it will be. 
      Forgiving is the hard part. It took me many, many years to forgive Chris for what she did. Though,  holding that pain and anger only hurt me and my family. Talk about something that is hard to realize! Do you know how many years I wanted to just beat the snot out of her and slash her tires for what she did to me and let others do to me? The thing is, all of that didn't hurt her at all, all it did was give my power to her. She took enough things from me why would I want her to have my power too? Now, I pity her, I really do. I hope that someday she finds God and forgiveness for herself.
     I made lots of bad decisions in my life. LOTS! Those are not decisions that I ever said, "well things went wrong in my life that's why I did it". Rough circumstances are not a get out of jail free card. You have to own the decisions that you make. Take responsibility for your actions. Don't blame them on someone else. Every decision I made and consequence I paid helped me to become the person that I am today. I know that this sounds cliche but you can't regret things that you have done in your past. There is nothing you can do to change them, and , they made you who you are!  I through Christ have been forgiven of the bad decisions that I made. I have to remember that.  God doesn't remember them, I shouldn't either.
     One of the best things that I have come to realize lately is that you can change!! If things are rough in your life, change them!! If you yell at your kids (see previous post) change it ! If you are unhappy where you are CHANGE IT!! Don't go about it blindly, ask God for help. He is there for you. He kept me safe through many circumstances. His loving hands reached out to me and protected me, even when I was ignoring Him. He is there for you too!