CLEAN hearted & SOBER minded

     2 weeks ago I decided I was done losing my temper. I didn't lose it a lot. It was ALWAYS with the kids. If I was having a rough day then they were the ones that I lashed out against. A lot of the time it happened while Stewy was at work (of course). Not only did I lose my temper, I would yell. Not scream, not all the time, but it was my way of communicating with the kids and show my frustration.
      Abe especially seemed to be effected by this. He is the kid that my irritation was mostly towards since he is the one who 9 times outta 10 is the one getting into things! After an episode involving tomato soup, hands, and hair, I knew something had to give and I really needed to get his attention and work on behavior.  I had a friend suggest that after disciplining him we pray with him.  I honestly had never thought of doing that.  My prayer life is something that I really struggle with so it never occurred to me to pray with him after infractions.  The first thing that happened was I realized how he was feeling. One of the things that he would pray about ( I would pray first and then let him pray) was that he didn't want people to be mad at him. "please make Jake not be mad at me" "please let momma not be mad at me" etc. I never realized how much he thought people were mad at him. It broke my heart. I decided then that things HAD to change. I read somewhere that yelling is "rude and disrespectful" there is no excuse for it.  I decided I was going to be happy, have a positive attitude and let my light shine for my children, and my husband. 
     I decided that 2 weeks ago and I have to say that I feel so much better. Instead of yelling, I talk calmly. Instead of disciplining out of frustration, I discipline with a need.  I have been letting the kids help me in the kitchen which I have actually really enjoyed. I used to be of the mind that "I can get it done faster if you aren't here". While that is usually the case, I have realized the benefit of taking a moment to teach.  I am enjoying them so much. Don't get me wrong things aren't always roses and sunshine.  Today Charlotte is having an emotional day, she really should've had a nap and it is my fault for not making her take one.  Abe hasn't felt well so he has been a little fussy. Other than that I think that things have made such an improvement. I find that things that I normally would've let really get under my skin I am able to let go or laugh about. Instead of getting frustrated when I get asked for the 15th million time "what can I eat" (after they didn't eat their food) I am able to be silly and still parent effectively, and we are dancing and laughing a WHOLE lot more!
     I hope that they have noticed a difference and it isn't just in my head. I feel that things have been a lot more relaxed and happy lately. I want Stewy to be able to come home and have fun and relax with the family instead of walking into an atomic bomb! I'm glad that I finally put forth the effort to try and change instead of just wishing I could change.
     What is one thing you would like to change??